Emotional abuse : Kelly’s story

“I don’t know what is wrong” Kelly said to her mother” I cannot put my finger on it, but we are not right together”

“He seemed like a nice guy” Her Mother replied cautiously and Kelly shook her head as she sipped her cup of coffee.

She had been married to Jake for five years and even though all seemed well she was not happy.

When he came home she mentally braced herself because she didn’t know what kind of mood he would be in.

If he had a bad day at work he might start complaining about everything from the way she had cooked dinner to how she was dressed.

When they had first met in college, she had been a freshman straight from Iowa.

He was a senior and he had taken her under his wing, they had dated college and he had slowly taken over her life.

He told her what to wear, who to be friends with and what courses to take.

They had gotten married right after she had graduated from college.

Even though she had honors degree in engineering she had never worked.

Recently she had started feeling dissatisfied with her life, she wanted to do something else other than being Jake’s wife.

When she told him how she felt, he laughed at her and responded snidely

“Who would hire you?”

She was enraged, the following day she went shopping for a new suit and started the job search.

Two months later she had an internship offer from a small engineering firm.

“Jake, I got a job,” She announced over dinner.

At first he didn’t look up from the paper he was reading, then finally did and he said

He stared at her for a long time and replied, “If you take the job, feel free to also leave this house”

Kelly was in shock; she stared at him for a long time then walked out of the room. She lay down on the bed and stared at the ceiling

When she had gotten married, she was glad she could stay-at-home and take care of the kids.

But the kids didn’t come; it was after they had tried for a year that Jake had told her that he had a vasectomy because he didn’t want children.

She was speechless, they had talked about having kids in college and he always seemed to want them. So why would he have a vasectomy without asking her?

She had considered leaving him then, but raised in a Christian home she had stayed.

As she remembered the difficulties she had endured in the marriage, Kelly was enraged.

She got up from the bed and packed her bags, as she threw all her possessions into the suitcases, tears ran down her face.

She dragged the suitcases out into the driveway and into her car, she saw Jake staring at her through the window.

As she drove away she felt a mixture of emotions, rage, sadness, pain and relief. The relief forced her to keep on driving and she didn’t stop until she got to her mother’s house.

Kelly told her mother what she had gone through in her marriage to Jake and her mother held her close.

Though she knew her mother shared her pain, was her pain enough to end her marriage.

Emotional abuse in marriages is real, but should that cause you to get divorced.


Photo by David Castillo Dominici. Published on 28 March 2012
Stock photo – Image ID: 10078258